If Famous Books Were About Me, What Would Their Titles Be?

My Friend Moshe Kasher wrote a memoir about his misspent youth and called it  "Kasher In The Rye".  Pretty clever, n'est pas? Got me thinking, what famous book title could I alter to use for my life story? Here are some ideas....

The 7 Habits of a Highly Defective Person

And Then There Were No More Cupcakes

Chicken Soup for the Dead Inside

A Tale of Two Big White Titties

To Kill a Mocking Bitch!

Pride and Pretty on the Inside

50 Shades of Chartreuse

The Great Fats-Me

The Diet Runner

What to Expect When You Are Not Expecting Anything Good to Happen

Where The Mild Things Are

Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Checked-Out Dad

The Hitchhiker's Guide the Fallacy Of Happiness

The Joy of Looking Back In Anger

The Agony and The Ecstasy of a Wasted Weekend

Ship Of Tools

Breakfast of Failures

Looking For a Good Candy Bar

I'll Take Mandingo


Presumed Innocuous

Queen Of The Hams

The Pillar of Girth

The Burden of Aloof

With A lot of Remorse

Roses Are Red and A Huge Waste of Money

The Five People You meet in Line At The DMV

The Helpless

Waiting To Extoll

The Twitching Hour

The Felix Unger Games

The Poky Little Penis

A Brief History of Time I Spent Alone In My Apartment

What Color is the Parachute I Forgot to Buy?

The Tedium Of Sex

Clifford The Big Red Dog and Other Hallucinations I Have Had

A Series Of Unfortunate Years